So this is going to sound much crankier than I really am, but my body aches, I am still coughing mucus from my chest, I cannot sleep, and when I do I have nightmares about being mean to Little - which I am not. There is so much going on that I could be more affected by than I realize, but you would think that the running would help soothe my mind. Maybe it is time for me to lay on my Little Bird's couch for some mind shrinking?

So I applied for a promotion today. It is for a newly created job within my own department doing exactly what I would love to do. I am confident I would be a good fit, but am not cocky nor take for granted that I will be the choice. I really really want it though!

So I almost decided to just drive to work today. I don't have coffee coming, my chest is full of crap I am coughing up, my body is sore, and I have the beginnings of a headache. Not to mention that I have off-site meetings that require me to rely on others for transportation. But then I thought, Tough Stuff-get over it. If I allow myself one inch, I will at some point try to take a mile. It is 3 days a week, suck it up Sally. And I did....

So I am on the lightrail this morning, nervous about my two legged commute because I have the nagging cough originating in my chest that indicates an infection. My house is full of family, which is great, however, so is their need for my attention. I am slightly panicked as I have a lot going on with school this week, including midterms. The positive, if there is one is that I look close to graduating. This is so exciting for me and I am really looking forward to the next step, which is an MBA.

This past weekend Little, G, and I traveled about an hour and a half away for G's 1st 10K and Little's first mile race. We stayed in a hotel, swam, had dinner, and just had a great time as a little family. I was thinking last night that I am starting to become all the things I liked about my ex-husband's family, without all their hypocracy and issues. It is sweet to be in this place of acceptance and contentment. It is because of Little and G that I feel so whole and complete. I needed someone to love me unconditionally and invest their heart and soul into mine. I have traveled a long road to make it here and to overcome the shadows of which I once resided. It is good to be me.

Oh my....I am not sleeping. I woke up from a heavy sleep well rested and raring to go. Problem is? It was 1am. Ugh. So I did go to bed at 8:30 because I was so tired I could not read my course material, but still. So this is the thing, the more exercise I get, the less sleep I need. I had to get new inserts for my shoes because my feet are starting to complain. While I was in the shoe shop, they told me it is time to start tracking my mileage so that I know when to replace my shoes. Holy cow- don't they know I am just practcing to be a runner right now?

I am still plugging away. My only complaint is that I am not drinking enough water and in danger og getting dehydrated. Today was my last fat girl support meeting at work and it feels bitter sweet. The psychology residents are leaving and a new group will take over in the Fall. I am not sure I need this outlet any longer, though I am immensly grateful for the motivation and the catalyst afforded to me as a first step. I will never forget this group of residents!

So I try to live my life conscious that there are lessons in every person that comes into your life and that there are opportunities abound. I also believe that lessons will repeat until learned. I was called defensive, rude, and a dictator by someone I was apologizing to and would not allow me to finish any of my sentances. I talked to my boss as I was not feeling like a shining example of leadership. She reminded me that my response and attempt was a good example of leadership. It is not always our first response that defines us, but how we continue to respond. I was fortunate enough to remember that when talking to my bird about his preferred response to my colleague.

So it is 0530 and I am back on the lightrail. Although I ran/walked to work 3 times last week and it is only 1.5 miles each way, I feel anxious or nervous or something. On another note, I am back to not sleeping through the night thanks to all the exercise. So now I am yawning. Oh I need a latte. Thank God for the litle bird that stops on his way to work each day to get my Tall Skinny Vanilla Latte, NO Foam! Thank you little bird!

As a pedestrian, I am amazed at the number of people who do not make any attempt to get out of the way of emergency response vehicles. One day they will be in need and will finally understand!

So I have started forcing myself to run everyday. I am riding the lightrail from my suburb to the stop that is about 2 miles from work. So at 5:34 am, I get on and get off at 5:51 and begin my run/walk combo. All of my clothes for the week are at work, as are my toiletries, shoes, and breakfast. Uber organized, I know. This is my third day and although I am sore, I am so proud that I have found such a clever way to get 4 miles a day of exercise. I feel great and energize.....