More Water

So I have started going to the gym in the mornings and I worked a full day on Sunday. In proper fashion, I am running on empty, pushing hard, working 10 hours a day - at least, and fell hard to a migraine today. We are in the lecture phase of life on the home front with G more than annoyed with my compulsive behavior.

In addition, I am feeling like a failure as a mother in that I did not stay on top of the school and now we are in a planning phase with Little rather than a next step phase. My mother asked me when I was spending quality time with her based on my own hectic schedule. Really? Little is in dance on two hours on Monday, an hour on Wednesday, and swim lessons on Saturday. And she wants to talk about my schedule?

I love my job, I love my daughter, I love my husband, I love going to school - I just need to drink more water

Moving On

So I have moved from the office I have shared with the two other supervisors for a year into my own private office in the adjacent building. I packed up my desk and left the building I have worked in for more than 20 months. The people I have seen every day, I will only see when I venture into the hospital. The team I built will get only a portion of my attention and once my position is back-filled, even less. I am moving forward and yet, I am drawn to the comfort of the past. My office is gray and drab and quiet. I have not yet made it my own and it is hot.

In addition to this emotional departure, I had to make a very hard decision this morning. One that I have not had to make in my tenure as a supervisor. I startled my staff and myself as well.

Tired

So I am exhausted....I have started my new position this week, met with the Nurse Program Managers for the clinics I support, had my new role refined and re-defined, met with the Physician Director that I report to on a dotted line, inherited more staff, and had finals. I have a new office, one that I do not share with anyone, but I am not moved into it yet and will not be until Wednesday, so for now I am running here and there and everywhere. I have gained access to the entire system and I am in awe of why I was hired into this new role. My confidence is at an all time high and yet, I am so concerned with not being able to deliver everything I have been asked to deliver, especially in the time frame for which I have been aked for it.

In other news, the Director who accused me of misconduct and initiated the investigation of my actions was fired this week. To say that I am shocked is an under-statement. In fact, many of us are in complete shock. A couple of his charge nurses are gone as well. It dumb-founds me that people still think that in 2009 they can get away with manipulating or cheating a system.