Pharmacology

So here is where I am: my thyroid is not working producing high amounts of TSH for which I take thyroid medicine, my hemoglobin A1C is high and I am insulin resistant so I take metformin. The difficulty is that I cannot get my TSH and Hemoglobin A1C normal at the same time, which equates to constant re-adjustment of one med or another. Additionally, I take a zoloft substitute in an effort to maintain my energy level since I have not been sleeping through the night, which makes it difficult to want to exercise, which I cannot seem to manage on a consistent basis anyhow. A week ago, my physician prescribed a new medicine that was originally developed for seizures and strokes, but has been found to work for chronic migraine patients, of which I am one. Happily, I have not had one migraine since I began taking this little pill of perfection and the side effects are drowsiness - read: sleep like I am dead and loss of appetite - read: eat like a bird. So, needless to say, this is my favorite because it actually has results that I can apply to my daily life.

Catch Up in 200 words or less

Where do I start? I have stopped running, swimming, exercising. I am consumed with my MBA, work, my family, and the losses we have sustained this past year. I have just started the 7th class of 12 in my graduate degree and am looking forward to graduating next year. Thanks to a bout of premature peri-menapause, I was placed on hormones, which made me crazy and all girly. After nine months and several pounds, I have stopped taking them. The concern is that I am too young for menopause, but I am too young to feel insane also. In January, we had to put our beloved Gunther to sleep as he began suffering from cancer, which he was diagnosed with the last week in December. G, Little, and I were thrust into a deep, dark depression that took us weeks to resolve. In addition, Little began to have issues with her after school situation and so I pretty much threw an ultimatum at my boss. The result was that I changed my hours at work to 0530-1430, which means I am getting up at 0400 and in theory, going to bed at 2000. The problem is that I still do not sleep well, causing all kinds of issues. I am still suffering from headaches - though I am on a new medication that has two side-effects: drowsiness & weight-loss. I have only been taking it for a couple of days, but I cannot find a down side just yet. Little is much better after months of Mommy after-school and is going through interview after interview for private school in the Fall. Mommy is looking forward to school being out and Little going to camp so that she can sleep until 0500 or 0600 and not go to bed before the neighborhood kids.

I am a voyer in that I look at the pictures of my beautiful friend's baby boy and feel ashamed that I do not know him. I feel ashamed that I do not run and that I am in my own way. I want to run and yet, I cannot get out of my own way. I have put on so much weight over the past year and I can no longer resolve what part of that is me and what part of that is meds, hormones, excuses, etc.

I cannot believe it has been almost a year since I have had anything to say! It has been a challenging year and I would have liked to have had something to look back upon and feel accomplished for making it through. My beloved Gunther dog passed in January from an aggressive form of cancer, throwing us all into a deep, dark depression. My cat died in February of old age. As of now, I am more than half way through my Masters degree, hoping I made the right choice given the sacrifices my friends, my family, and I have and continue to make.