The sky is falling, the sky is falling... I called in sick today. I did not go to work because I am sick today. My perfect attendance has been cast aside for I have the plague. I am going to the doctor this morning so that he can tell me that I have the plague.
Up side: the plague is good for the weight loss program!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
The Best Laid Plans.....
The is a saying about the road to hell, good intentions, best laid plans, blah blah blah. The long and the short of it all is that I am freaking sick!
I am never sick, never, ever, never - ok hardly ever.
My temporary schedule started this week (Tuesday through Saturday, 1000-1830) and my plan-ahem- was to walk the dogs each morning before taking Little to school and going to my trainer twice a week before heading off to work. Great plan huh. The best kind - the kind that gets ruined by a cough, headache, dizziness, and hot flashes. And not just any coughing might I add - Oh no, I have contracted the cough that will dislodge my boobs from my chest. I am going to be one of those commercials where kids find my boobs while riding their bikes and will use them to hold pieces of wood for a bike ramp. It's ok though, I never liked them much anyhow.
I am never sick, never, ever, never - ok hardly ever.
My temporary schedule started this week (Tuesday through Saturday, 1000-1830) and my plan-ahem- was to walk the dogs each morning before taking Little to school and going to my trainer twice a week before heading off to work. Great plan huh. The best kind - the kind that gets ruined by a cough, headache, dizziness, and hot flashes. And not just any coughing might I add - Oh no, I have contracted the cough that will dislodge my boobs from my chest. I am going to be one of those commercials where kids find my boobs while riding their bikes and will use them to hold pieces of wood for a bike ramp. It's ok though, I never liked them much anyhow.
Friday, September 26, 2008
The Good News Is...
So every once in a blue moon, I actually read my old blogs. Being that I have already stated that I feel angst about my birthdays, I will not go over that again, but my post from last year was an eye opener. I am not angry this year and I think a lot of that is due to the massive changes I have made to my life in over the past 12 months. Instead, I feel strong and capable to fulfill my dreams. To finish my degree and move towards a Masters program. To work towards a healthy body that will continue to carry me forward and allow for me to grow old gracefully. To strengthen my financial status through budget and smart spending so that I can some day retire, while having the opportunity to provide well for my Little. These are all things that I did not consider possible a year ago - or at least it all felt like an overwhelming burden. The reality is that time will continue to pass and I will continue to get older. What I do with that time is in my control.
A Few Words On Dum B.O.
"I was the first to say" - that is the catch phrase for Barack Obama. What? You were the first to say and No one else listened. Interesting! That will obviously make for a strong Leader of the Free World! The man who talks when no one is listening. "Let me be clear" is catch phrase number two - which is a warning to the American people that he has no intention of being clear, concise, or thoughtful in his response. He interrupts, which is rude, he stutters which is annoying, and he is incapable of keeping his cool. Regardless of what Hollywood says, Obama blew it tonight. He could not even remember John McCain's first name. John - How difficult is John?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I'm Sure It Is All Down Hill From Here......
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Sunday, September 21, 2008
Count Down to 36
I turn 36 next week, Thursday in fact, and I have been looking at the list and the things I have not yet accomplished. Oh Bother!
I start school this Fall, though I have not made solid decisions about going clinic, staying administrative, though I know that I will make a career where I am currently, if they will have me. I cannot bring myself to visit Mackenzie's grave, but my Little spends a lot of time talking about her - she found some of Mackenzie's baby pictures in our basement awhile back. I cannot or have not spent a day without my cell phone and with everything going on, I have neither vacationed, nor taken a dive trip in a year. I am hoping that all of the changes we made this year will provide a life that will allow at least weekend trips to Cozumel and I would really like to go to Belize. My weight is a sore subject and I want to be disappointed in myself, but that would create more guilt and self-loathing, which I do not need. There is a lot to celebrate, though I have not drank champagne to celebrate it. I am too disappointed in the Broncos to spend hard earned cash going to a game and besides, I have an HD Big Screen and no lines for beer or the potty!
So it will be time to make a new list. I think my new list will be shorter and will include things that will make me better and not just things that I think will make me happy. I welcome suggestions, but running will be on that list for though I could not go a mile without dying today, give me some time cause I am a runner!
I start school this Fall, though I have not made solid decisions about going clinic, staying administrative, though I know that I will make a career where I am currently, if they will have me. I cannot bring myself to visit Mackenzie's grave, but my Little spends a lot of time talking about her - she found some of Mackenzie's baby pictures in our basement awhile back. I cannot or have not spent a day without my cell phone and with everything going on, I have neither vacationed, nor taken a dive trip in a year. I am hoping that all of the changes we made this year will provide a life that will allow at least weekend trips to Cozumel and I would really like to go to Belize. My weight is a sore subject and I want to be disappointed in myself, but that would create more guilt and self-loathing, which I do not need. There is a lot to celebrate, though I have not drank champagne to celebrate it. I am too disappointed in the Broncos to spend hard earned cash going to a game and besides, I have an HD Big Screen and no lines for beer or the potty!
So it will be time to make a new list. I think my new list will be shorter and will include things that will make me better and not just things that I think will make me happy. I welcome suggestions, but running will be on that list for though I could not go a mile without dying today, give me some time cause I am a runner!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Climbing That Ladder
So, let's recap - Hired in January, start date of January 28th, promoted to a Lead position instantly, get my first STAR award, promoted to Supervisor in May-just at my 90 days. What's next you may ask? Well, there is a next, let me tell you.
Our organization is run according to the LEAN philosophy and conduct RIEs (Rapid Improvement Events) in which the Team Lead is generally a Black Belt. No this is not martial arts and yes, I am tired of that joke already. It is an honor to be a Black Belt within my organization and out of the 5000 employees on staff, 107 are Black Belts. My boss waited for three years to be asked to join a class and after nine years of being a Director, she has been a Black Belt for a little over a year now.
Well, guess who has celebrated her 7th month by being a part of the Fall 2008 class? ME ME ME! I am so excited and honored and tired! The class started on Thursday and is 6 days of intensive training that includes power points, hands-on, and walks through the hospital. There are 25 of us and I just know that the CEO was speaking to me during her introduction to the program. I am honored, amazed, and loving every minute of it. We are doe until the middle of October and then will finish at the end of October. We must participate in two RIE's a year and turn in a LEAN project report to the CEO every month. Did I mention the honor?
Our organization is run according to the LEAN philosophy and conduct RIEs (Rapid Improvement Events) in which the Team Lead is generally a Black Belt. No this is not martial arts and yes, I am tired of that joke already. It is an honor to be a Black Belt within my organization and out of the 5000 employees on staff, 107 are Black Belts. My boss waited for three years to be asked to join a class and after nine years of being a Director, she has been a Black Belt for a little over a year now.
Well, guess who has celebrated her 7th month by being a part of the Fall 2008 class? ME ME ME! I am so excited and honored and tired! The class started on Thursday and is 6 days of intensive training that includes power points, hands-on, and walks through the hospital. There are 25 of us and I just know that the CEO was speaking to me during her introduction to the program. I am honored, amazed, and loving every minute of it. We are doe until the middle of October and then will finish at the end of October. We must participate in two RIE's a year and turn in a LEAN project report to the CEO every month. Did I mention the honor?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Time Does Not Heal Everything
The good news- we opened up a brand new Pediatric Emergency Department that is state of the art and in a central location for those who cannot travel to Children's, which is now located way out East. The bad news- we opened up a brand new Pediatric Emergency Department that draws in sick children that could potentially die and sometimes do. It hurts my heart so much. I know what those parents are going through, I know that every breath is a struggle, and to stay calm is asking the impossible. I know what it is like to hear the Doctor say I am sorry, we did everything we could. Oh my God, I know.
The struggle for me is to stay intact and there are times in which the struggle feels like climbing the side of a cliff. For me, the struggle is to acknowledge the emotion, where it comes from, and to move on without a pint of Ben & Jerry's or a triple fudge brownie. My struggle is to honor my past while maintaining the momentum to move forward.
They say time heals all wounds, but they never buried a child.
The struggle for me is to stay intact and there are times in which the struggle feels like climbing the side of a cliff. For me, the struggle is to acknowledge the emotion, where it comes from, and to move on without a pint of Ben & Jerry's or a triple fudge brownie. My struggle is to honor my past while maintaining the momentum to move forward.
They say time heals all wounds, but they never buried a child.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Headache Free and Thankful for it....
I think there was a direct correlation between the medication I was taking and my migraines. I say that because I woke up this morning headache free and took my last pill yesterday. Now, it could be the medication, it could be that it is the weekend and I am home, or it could be the support I continue to get from those who care about me. Not sure, but the headache is gone for now and I am thankful.
I am happy today - it is cloudy out, football is on, I am doing little chores around the house, and made brunch for the family this morning. I got to drink coffee and read the paper, though I had to DVR Meet The Press. Ok, here is what I appreciate about living in half the house than we had before - it takes less than an hour to clean the darn thing when we all pitch in. There is very little yard work and if you put something in a place, you do not have 5 closets, five bedrooms, and five bathrooms in which to search to find it. YEAH! There are still boxes, but I am not about to kill myself to get them unpacked above getting some R&R.
I am happy today - it is cloudy out, football is on, I am doing little chores around the house, and made brunch for the family this morning. I got to drink coffee and read the paper, though I had to DVR Meet The Press. Ok, here is what I appreciate about living in half the house than we had before - it takes less than an hour to clean the darn thing when we all pitch in. There is very little yard work and if you put something in a place, you do not have 5 closets, five bedrooms, and five bathrooms in which to search to find it. YEAH! There are still boxes, but I am not about to kill myself to get them unpacked above getting some R&R.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
September 11th
I was fearful of today, but have been so busy (we opened our brand new Pediatric Emergency Department and our new CEU registration area) that I allowed September 11th to sneak up on me. I always struggle with this day because I still feel as though we should not be so cavalier and "business as usual" when so many men, women, children, and first responders lost their lives through the actions of cowards. I am still so angry and sad and mad and patriotic about the whole thing. Luckily, the world was quiet and I did not have a moment to revel in it.
Unfortunately for me, I have a couple of things going on that are kind of controlling me rather than me being able to control them. First of all, I am on medication that has a side effect of aggression. I am striving to not go off the deep end, but I get frustrated easily and I can hear it in my voice. There is a man that works with me that really works hard to keep me even and does more for me than I can describe in one blog, but he does get days off and I am pretty sure he did his best to hide from me today. Who could blame him really? Secondarily, I suffer from migraines and have since I was a child. They get so bad that my entire head throbs, I get extremely short tempered, and I will eventually throw up if I don't lay down in a cold, dark, quiet room. I have had two of them this week, which may be from dehydration or stress. Take your pick.
So here something I do not understand and I am looking for comments. I went to work for a woman that I thought would make a tremendous mentor for me. I have tried my hardest to make her look good within the organization and rarely, if ever, take credit for the things I have done to make her successful. I was the first person to get certified through NAHAM, read the policies and procedures for the organization, promoted within my first 90 days, and now have been asked to be a member of the next Black Belt class after only 7 months of employment. (A side note is that it took my boss three years to be offered a spot and then, I have been told, she was an alternate). Ok, all of this success and you would think she would love it. Oh Contrare - She has resigned and told us today that she would not recommend any of us for her position, furthermore, she went on to say that none of us would promote beyond Manager because the organization will not promote to the Director level from within. She went on to say other things, but every time she said something that she thought would insight me, she looked at me, so much so that others mentioned it to me afterwards. I am amazed by the fact that she wishes me such ill will and hopes that I lack success - even though I have put her in a position to take credit for my success. Amazing! Thoughts?
Unfortunately for me, I have a couple of things going on that are kind of controlling me rather than me being able to control them. First of all, I am on medication that has a side effect of aggression. I am striving to not go off the deep end, but I get frustrated easily and I can hear it in my voice. There is a man that works with me that really works hard to keep me even and does more for me than I can describe in one blog, but he does get days off and I am pretty sure he did his best to hide from me today. Who could blame him really? Secondarily, I suffer from migraines and have since I was a child. They get so bad that my entire head throbs, I get extremely short tempered, and I will eventually throw up if I don't lay down in a cold, dark, quiet room. I have had two of them this week, which may be from dehydration or stress. Take your pick.
So here something I do not understand and I am looking for comments. I went to work for a woman that I thought would make a tremendous mentor for me. I have tried my hardest to make her look good within the organization and rarely, if ever, take credit for the things I have done to make her successful. I was the first person to get certified through NAHAM, read the policies and procedures for the organization, promoted within my first 90 days, and now have been asked to be a member of the next Black Belt class after only 7 months of employment. (A side note is that it took my boss three years to be offered a spot and then, I have been told, she was an alternate). Ok, all of this success and you would think she would love it. Oh Contrare - She has resigned and told us today that she would not recommend any of us for her position, furthermore, she went on to say that none of us would promote beyond Manager because the organization will not promote to the Director level from within. She went on to say other things, but every time she said something that she thought would insight me, she looked at me, so much so that others mentioned it to me afterwards. I am amazed by the fact that she wishes me such ill will and hopes that I lack success - even though I have put her in a position to take credit for my success. Amazing! Thoughts?
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
RNC
I got to see a couple nights of the RNC. First let me say that whomever vetted the attendees, should be fired immediately. Second, I am so entirely disappointed by NBC and their coverage, that I may not watch anything else they have to offer for the remainder of the election season. Instead of listening to Fred Thompson, I had the privilege of listening to commentary - screaming "Are they serious" the entire time. Now, I am an MSNBC/NBC girl all the way, but this was so unprofessional that I am ashamed and disenchanted with unbiased journalism. In fact, I watched PBS the second night.
I thoroughly enjoyed watching Mr. Huckabee. I thought he was intelligent and clever. Mitt Romney was also clever and entertaining. I thought Giuliani was lacking in that I have seen him stir and move even the most stoic of crowds.
When announced, I was not thrilled with Sarah Palin as the choice. That being said, she has completely won me over. She is smart, driven, dedicated, and works her tail off to have it all. Her husband is hot too. Yes, I am a fan of good ole Sarah Palin!
I thoroughly enjoyed watching Mr. Huckabee. I thought he was intelligent and clever. Mitt Romney was also clever and entertaining. I thought Giuliani was lacking in that I have seen him stir and move even the most stoic of crowds.
When announced, I was not thrilled with Sarah Palin as the choice. That being said, she has completely won me over. She is smart, driven, dedicated, and works her tail off to have it all. Her husband is hot too. Yes, I am a fan of good ole Sarah Palin!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Detour
So when I said that September 2nd was the light at the end of the tunnel, I did not see the detour sign. So, September 10th is the grand opening of our new Pediatric Emergency Department. As exciting as that is, there is also a lot of preparation work that requires attention and since my boss is out of town, I am representing.
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