I Miss Wine & Coffee Talk

I am a terrible friend. I came to that conclusion today in a couple of different ways. First of all, I have stopped going to my book club dinners. I really enjoyed them, but they seem to fall on weeks when I am bogged down by work or school. Secondarily, I talk to so many people during the day that I cannot muster additional conversations after I leave the office. My days are the same - Up at 5am, gym when I can get myself there, work, scramble to leave by 1630(and yes, I have to actually put that on my schedule with a reminder alarm), pick up Little, prepare & eat dinner, Little's homework, my homework, get her to bed, get whatever is necessary for the next day ready, and bed by 2100. If it is an event week or finals, there is always an additional level of demands on my time. If the kids have events or there is a holiday or a special project, additional complexity finds its way to me. I love my job and I love school, but I am a bad bad friend. I found out via her blog that someone I truly and genuinely adore is pregnant and I have missed the entire thing. In one of the books I am reading, it asks you to write your mission statement as a person and think about what would be said about you at your funeral. Would the people I love have known that I loved them and forgive my chaotic attempt at friendship? When school is over and I am just a working mother with time for wine and meaningful conversation, will my friends still be there ready to pick up where we left off?

The Sun Always Comes Through Eventually

Our holiday has included food poisoning - not by my hand, my back going out, an intervention with our youngest son that included joining forces with G's ex-wife, getting concerning news about our oldest son, and my Bird going under the knife for a second time. Today, the clouds seemed to have lifted and the skies look clear for the remainder of the week. I took Little swimming today and we did laps, jumped off the diving board, and she went down the big girl slide. We had a blast followed by a couple of errands, lunch, a hot shower, and cuddles during a movie. There are days that will sit with you forever and this was one of them.

So in addition to the memorable parts of today, G and I had a semi-serious discussion about my health and his concerns. What he does not realize is that I have been thinking about this and have even written about my own concerns coming off my stay in bed. I need to make me a priority and need to do so with vigor. My back feels great after swimming today, but I miss running.

Christmas Disaster 2009 Chapter Two

So I have been in bed for two days. I woke up at 3am Christmas Day needing to visit the potty. What I discovered was that I could not move and each time I tried, I was delivered a healthy blow of debilitating muscle spasms in my lower back. I had to cancel Christmas breakfast, which I had mostly prepared for 9 others, I spent all of 1/2 hour in front of the tree, after being helped down the stairs, and have been in bed ever since. Things are getting better, but I am miserable. First of all, I have spent two days in bed rather than playing with my Little, cooking, cleaning, or anything else I had planned for my days off.

There is a lesson here. I have taken my body for granted and I am both evil and hard on it. I will be 40 in a matter of a 2 1/2 years and I need to get my health under control well in advance of that event. I need to get my sugar levels under control, I need to get my thyroid levels under control, I need to get consistent with my diet and with my exercise and apparently, I need to work on strengthening my core so that my back can carry me through the holidays, celebrations, and my demanding everyday life.

Baking Disaster 2009

Ok, so I thought I would try to be normal this year and do some holiday baking. I started yesterday and it went really well. Today was an entirely different story. There is cookie dough from the top to the bottom of my kitchen. Baking is not fun, not rewarding, and there are people for that. I am not one of them!

Updates, Updates, and more Updates!

So where were we? Things got worse before they got to where they are today. I had to pull Little out of her after-school program in haste due to safety issues. I am not 100% sure of our option when school starts again. The good news is that she will start 1st grade when she goes back. Her tests schools were really good. I wanted her to progress and the Principal wanted to put her in the GT program. I won. Actually, Little won!

School is out for now and I am desperately waiting for my GPA to post and the candidacy application for graduation and news on my MBA application. I am applying for every scholarship I can find. I really need to pay for my current loans and have someone other than me pay for my Masters. I am interested in a Doctorate program and will have to take the GRE, get Executive letters of recommendations, and be ready to submit my application about this time next year.

I love my job and feel so much satisfaction from the challenges I face. I do miss my little bird, the hustle and bustle of the hospital, my old staff, and the emergency room. I guess I have come to realize that the higher I go, the less interaction I will have with the gemba. I have sent in a proposal to present at one of the industry conferences in May. I will be both excited and terrified if I am accepted as a speaker. I have many initiatives beginning in 2010 which will mean so much to the organization both culturally and financially.

My running is non-existent. I did really well until things with Little fell apart and she stopped eating and sleeping. My diet is getting better and I am focusing on water. I am on vacation right now and working hard at staying hydrated. I have done almost nothing in the past four days, with the exception of laundry, some housework, grocery and Christmas shopping, and some baking. So, ok, I guess I have gotten more done than I thought.