How Do You Paste Your Eyes Shut?

By reading Bright Lights, Big Ass by Jennifer Lancaster (http://www.jennsylvania.com/). Seriously, if you are not reading her books and her blog - well, what the hell ARE you doing? I continue to turn people on to her and everyone loves her - with the exception of my husband and my dogs, all three of which I have chased out of the room, off the couch/bed, or woken up with my incessant laughter. My big problem right now is that her next book will not be released until May!

So before all the funny happened, I spent some time reviewing 2007. I did so because my life is really different than it was and G asked me to write down what the difference was so that I could refer to it if things start to unravel again.

• I begin my new position on the 28th of this month and I am so damn excited. The job is not perfect (A LOT less money & paid on an hourly rate, A LOT more management than I am used to), but it is within a hospital that I have always loved (Level One trauma/indigent care hospital downtown), has great benefits - including tuition reimbursement, and is the 1st step towards my career transformation process. The hours are early, but allow me the opportunity to hit the gym before I have to pick up Chloe and still gives me time to make healthy meals in the evening.
• I am in love with my husband and enjoy his company. This is huge as I was sure I was on the verge of divorce last year and very ready to become a single mother. So much so, I ultimately destroyed what was becoming a meaningful friendship with someone important to me by creating a happily ever after and romanticizing what could have been, could be, in my mind to get away from the reality of what was happening in my real-life relationship. So if you are still reading, please realize I made a mistake, I could not be more sorry about that, and I hope you are happy with the changes you have made.
• I have been working out with a trainer a couple of times a week, have an appointment with a nutritionist at the end of the week, and am eating breakfast on a regular basis.
• This year will resolve us getting out of this massive house and into something that we can manage, and that makes me very happy.
• I have made the decision to take a vacation this year and that means I am happy.

So this may not make sense to any of you, but I am happy and really that is what matters to me. Being happy. So much so, I have had these bizarre feelings I have never had before...I want another baby. Yes, I said it. No, I am not going to act on it any time soon, or at all for several reasons. First off, G is turning 46 in August, has had the "procedure", and already has children turning 19, 16, & 4 this year, and I am starting a new job, wanting to finish school - move onto an advanced degree program, and will be moving to a new home in March/April. Busy, Busy, Busy.

So I am reading the book Jillian Michaels wrote (Winning By Losing) and she suggests setting goals and rewards. The categories are:

• Long-Term Goals/Long-Term Rewards
• Monthly Goals/Monthly Rewards
• Weekly Goals/Weekly Rewards
• Daily Goals/Daily Rewards

I am going to figure out what these are for me and then how I can post them on this blog and will do so. I am open for suggestions, so drop me a line!