I Miss Wine & Coffee Talk

I am a terrible friend. I came to that conclusion today in a couple of different ways. First of all, I have stopped going to my book club dinners. I really enjoyed them, but they seem to fall on weeks when I am bogged down by work or school. Secondarily, I talk to so many people during the day that I cannot muster additional conversations after I leave the office. My days are the same - Up at 5am, gym when I can get myself there, work, scramble to leave by 1630(and yes, I have to actually put that on my schedule with a reminder alarm), pick up Little, prepare & eat dinner, Little's homework, my homework, get her to bed, get whatever is necessary for the next day ready, and bed by 2100. If it is an event week or finals, there is always an additional level of demands on my time. If the kids have events or there is a holiday or a special project, additional complexity finds its way to me. I love my job and I love school, but I am a bad bad friend. I found out via her blog that someone I truly and genuinely adore is pregnant and I have missed the entire thing. In one of the books I am reading, it asks you to write your mission statement as a person and think about what would be said about you at your funeral. Would the people I love have known that I loved them and forgive my chaotic attempt at friendship? When school is over and I am just a working mother with time for wine and meaningful conversation, will my friends still be there ready to pick up where we left off?