White Trash Is Another Man's Treasure

I am officially white trash. Yes, there's more to this than a toothless grin. So G and I collect things and for the past several (read 10) years, we have collected sets of furniture - couches to be exact. In the coming months, we are going to downsize our life, so I decided to participate in the annual community garage sale. To those of you who have had garage sales, please know that this is my first and so I had no idea how not fun they really are. NOT FUN. However, who really needs 5 sofa/love seat sets?

I had this all planned out in my head. 8am Garage Sale begins. 8:03 am mad rush ensues, and by 1:30 everything is gone-allowing me to dash off for a well deserved, much needed pedicure. Problem is that it didn't happen that way. At 2pm I called G for advice. The conversation went something like this:

Me-Ok, so it is almost 2pm and I am wondering how long I should sit out here
G-What time did the flier say?
Me-(He cannot possible think I will stay out here until 4:30 because some realtor planned it that way, can he?) 8-4:30
G-Until 4:30 then
Me-Well, can you call someone to bring me some lunch
G-Bring you some lunch? You cannot walk into the house and make yourself a sandwich?
Me-Walk inside and make a sandwich? Aren't you afraid that I might get too self-sufficient?
G-Self-Sufficient?
Me-Yes, I mean I have slaved away and...
G-Slaved? You slave?
Me-You know the slaves rose up, educated themselves, and then rebelled
G-I'm not worried as long as there's heavy lifting to do

NICE!

So the best thing about today is that I was able to sit in my garage with me feet propped up reading SUCH A PRETTY FAT by Jen Lancaster. It was nice to read it in solitude as my snorting and laughing usually chases my family away anyhow. It was too funny! Asshat still gets me every time!

So, G came home, we put our things back in the garage for Round two tomorrow and I went upstairs to rinse off the stink of strangers looking bargains. As I stood in the shower, G opened the door, looked at me naked as a jaybird and started to laugh. This would have offended me except that I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. Too add insult to injury, he was quick to point out that I look like I was wearing a wife beater. With a broken TV on our curb and bright red patches over most of my body, I am the very definition of white trash! Except I have all of my teeth......