Get Some Shutterfly!

It is 9 degrees outside in good ole Colorado. I am pretty sure that I will have to hold my nose to the stove to get it warm. I am not a cold natured person, but this is damn cold. So, dinner was not the disaster that I thought it would be. The wine I bought was fantastic and Dad watched Eddie Izzard's Dressed To Kill with us. (It is about time given the fact that G & I gave it to him for Christmas last year!) If you have never seen Eddie Izzard, I highly recommend you put it in your NetFlix cue immediately. He is an Executive Action Transvestite and extremely intelligent in his humor. So it took me a minute to get over the fact that he wears more make-up than I do, but right off the bat he clarifies that he is attracted to women and gay men who wear women's clothes are Drag Queens. Hence the difference!?! Funny, Funny!

So do you know Shutterfly? If you do not, you must: www.shutterfly.com. I have a huge love affair going with this site and have since the birth of my "Little". I personalize our Christmas cards, thank-you cards, party invites, and have as of last year, started making calendars. My Auntie M said that she loved her 2007 calendar so much that she would like one for 2008. So today, I spent 2 1/2 hours creating perfection. It is the best I have created thus far. You simply must try it out!

Family Holidays

I continue to receive email expressing thanks for.......Well, according to Jocelyn, vodka for one.
I am thankful for the wine I bought that will numb my experience of having dinner at my parent's house tomorrow night as my brother has come with my Aunt. I was told today that Thanksgiving was all about family and maybe my brother has changed, wouldn't that be a wonderful surprise. Well, no, that would be a freak of nature or the end of the world as we know it. Look, the kid is 31 years old, without any sort of role model to shape him, and a personality that is equal to nails on a chalk board. He is load, drinks too much, and smokes - though I hear he is down to three a day. I am not expecting much in the way of stimulating conversation.

Yes, it is the Grinch!

Decision Made!

I HAVE MADE A DECISION. It is not a clear cut "what I am going to do is", but rather a "this is what I am not going to do" decision. Regardless, I have made a decision. I am leaving the corporate world and trying my best to get back into health care. This decision included turning down a wonderful organization and what will be a similar conversation with, what would have been, my dream job up until I was given the option to make this choice. In these cases, the pay would be more than double what I will make going back into a hospital and the perks - oh I cannot even talk about the perks I am walking away from. But at the end of the day, I was not happy. A lot of that stems from the fact that I have worked for self-serving, insecure people for the past three years. Secondarily, the work is just not that interesting to me anymore.

Ok, but this is as far as I have gotten, except to say that I am targeting one hospital in particular with high hopes. I cannot imagine what was going through the recruiter's mind when I told him that I would take any job that they would consider me for. I will have to go through some certifications again as 1) Colorado does not recognize any training outside the state and 2) certificates expire within 24 months if they are not used and signed off on annually. Lucky me!

Ok, so this is as far as I have gotten. Now, I stalk the hospital and wait~Wish me Luck......

Off The Grid

I am trying to make a decision. It feels like the hardest decision I have had to make in quite along time and because I am a Libra, decisions are hard for me as I require balance. Making decisions is not synonymous with balance. I have sought the advice of my husband, my best friends, my horoscope, I have prayed - with no response, and am looking for a Magic 8 ball. I am cautious as I have made bad decisions in the past and I want this to be the right one. The more I think, the more nervous I get. I was woke up at 3am with a different thought than I have now at 3pm. I am not trying to be flaky, really I am not, but I do not like change.

I am eating soup for dinner and am so happy for the cold temperatures. I do not make the soup, but one day I will. I am loving pumpkin right now, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin muffins - all until I got to the pumpkin soup. It was ruined by the over-bearing flavor of cinnamon, which is the evil of all spices. Why, why ruin my perfect soup?

The Changing of Seasons and Sounds of...Seagulls?

So I have been busy interviewing, organizing my house (one room at a time), enjoying my friends, exercising, and reading. G and I have had some pretty heavy and deep conversations about our relationship, our family, and our careers. We get so busy and are such different people that when we do not take the time to connect on a regular basis, we drift apart like wood in a raging river. I am a person that romanticizes the "what could have been" relationships in my life and do so with no benefit to myself or to those who genuinely love me. When things get hard in my real life, I am able to create a fiction that feels calm, safe, and delicious in my own mind. So my goal for November is to live in the moment and be present in my very own life as it looks today. Good Luck to me!

So I walked out of "Bucky's" the other day with my grande nonfat no-foam sugar-free vanilla latte (George Carlin would call me a big asshole as the longer the order, the bigger the asshole by his definition) and was admiring Fall. I love the burst of color in the trees. Green is green but as Fall arrives the trees flash a calm yellow, festive orange, and fiery red that makes me warm, even with the dropping temperature. As I was caught up in my surroundings, I heard the call of birds. Seagulls actually. Seagulls? Yes, truly! They were floating in the sky above a light post like puppets on a string. I found this curious until I realized how smart these birds must be in escaping the air of California during the tragic fires. I imagine that the fires are what drove them East as I have not seen them here before. So this got me thinking about the way we live our lives. Animals can sense danger, toxic situations, and adjust their lives to protect themselves. Do we necessarily do the same thing as human beings? Or do we just "rub some dirt on it" (thank you Peyton Manning) and try to power through? Just a heavy question for a light Thursday!

The Wanna Be Athlete Says....Part 1

I wrote this piece shortly after the Tri For The Cure, and just found it again.

Eventually the panic set in and the minutes flew by as I began to beg myself to go to sleep. I started to do the math, how much sleep would I get if I fell asleep NOW? Defeated, I got up shortly before 5am and got excited as I dressed. I put my things in the 4Runner, my bike on the rack, and drove away from my dark house. As I walked my bike up the hill, carrying my gear, I became winded. That was the point in which my mind became loud and clear "What the hell am I doing here?" So the battle began between my logical self "Turn around, go home, it is not too late" and my adventurous self " I've come this far, I have the outfit, It will be fine". My feet continued to follow the crowd and eventually, I was in the transition area. I placed my bike on the rack, set my bag down, looked around, and the levity of where I was set in. I am 34, overweight, out of shape to the point that I just winded myself walking my bike up a hill, and have less than an hour before I begin my first triathlon.

My concern grew as the women around me pulled bottled of water and various liquids out of their bags. I pulled out my single water bottle meant for my bike, a mountain bike that quickly looked out of place next to the shiny thin road bikes built for speed. Next came the multitude of bars, sports gels, and other nutritional supplements. I put my single package of Clif blocks in my helmet. I was making a list of my mistakes this far: 1) not enough training! 2) I showed up! 3) not the right bike 4) brought only one bottle of water 5) would have to eat my equipment after depleting my two servings of blocks. I decided to stop analyzing my gear and take a look at the water course. The weather was perfect, the water was clear, and in the distance, far far away were two floating orange pyramids. Mistakenly, and out loud I said "Oh, that doesn't look too bad. We swim in between them and back". My face remained frozen with a Stepford smile as the woman standing next to me corrected my silliness. We would swim to the first cone, around it on to the second, around the outside of both, and then head back to shore. "How exciting. Good Luck" was all I could muster. This new information left me with no choice but to find the Port O Let. As I stood in line, I kept one eye out for one of my co-workers who was also competing. I was so distracted that I blurted out "I'm not sure what the hell I am doing here " in response to something the woman behind me had said, but I never heard. She laughed and agreed. In the distance, the National Anthem was being sung. "And the home of the brave". With tears in my eyes, I decided I was brave and was going to try the Tri.

A Household Divided

So I am a passionate person with opinions. My husband is also a passionate person with many opinion - most of them wrong!, as is our middle son and the "Little". The only weakling in our house is the oldest son, who fits in well at his mother's. Tonight we are watching the ALCS, but are living as a household divided. Lucky for him, the oldest son is out for the night, but the other two idiots are cheering for the Red Sox as I sing Cleveland Rocks! I am ok with Boston taking tonight's game because that will draw out the series one more night and set the Rockies up against a tired team, but how fun would it be to have the Indians in town for a World Series sweep? Men! What do they know?