So I have hypothyroidism, which is a thyroid that does not function. It does not do its job and it will never ever work again. It is a squatter, a mooch, and now, thanks to the daily medication - a permanent welfare recipient. As I write this, I almost feel like I might feel better about this if I have it removed from my body. I want to be better - I just want to be better and I want this dead decayed no good worthless butterfly shaped didn't do its job part out of my body that wants to finally for God's sake be healthy!
So the positive side of all of this is that I am on the medication, which is making me nauseous and providing no relief - but I understand that will all change and at some point I will begin to feel amazing. My physician was extremely impressed that I took the diabetes news so seriously and lost 9.5 pounds in 13 days with my new eating plan. More than anything, with my broke dick thyroid, he could not believe I was able to successfully lose any weight at all.
I am feeling restless. I want to feel better and I want to feel better now. I do not have enough energy to enjoy my job and yet, I am having such a hard time sleeping at night. So I wake up aggravated and sad and disappointed that I have to struggle myself to the shower and to get ready for work. I walk into my hospital already counting down the hours before I walk out again. These things do not sound like me and I do not like this person. I am ready for her to pack her bags and get the hell out. I want the best version of me, I have waited so long for her.
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