A Saturday of Children

Today was a zero medication day for me. Not one puff off of an inhaler, not one steroid - nothing. I'm not sure why, except that I am tired of living substance dependant, which has been a way of life for almost 3 weeks. So I might be withdrawing...or I might just be overly crabby from being tired.

My day has been filled with my children. First up, a costume themed birthday party for one of the little boys in my daughter's class. I really like this family and it was fun, but it was hot and early and I drank a soda, ate some cake, and then had pizza. Yes, that was the order of the food and I was all for it. I should have had breakfast beyond a cup of coffee, drank a lot of water, and waited for the pizza, forgoing the cake.

Next up was a conversation with my 16 yr old son, who was caught by him mother with a hookah in his car. Apparently, the newest and greatest thing is to smoke tobacco with some molasses mixture through a hookah. His mother apparently found out that he had tried it a month ago, never shared that information with us, and then found the pipe - which was left over from the experiment, but never discarded. She went ballistic and took his car away. My problem with this whole things is trust. I cannot trust this son because though he knows right from wrong, he lives his life according to his own set of rules, justifying his behavior, and making the decisions best for him. In short, I am not comfortable with his boundaries. Oh, and his mother is an self-serving idiot, so that does not help!

So we have sent said son off to Homecoming with trepidation. We cannot keep him in the house until he turns 18 and we need him to trust that he can talk to us - in the process, he confided that they drink too, and he is really feeling the consequences from not getting to use his car, not getting to spend the night at his friends houses, and that his friend's parents are blaming him for the entire thing. They are incorrect, but it is having a much larger impact on him than any other punishment we can dole out at this point as he does not like people thinking poorly of him.

I know I had a life before kids, but it was over 10 years ago - so I cannot remember it well. I know there was regular exercise, mani/pedis, and my own tom foolery to be had. I am pretty sure I miss those things, but I am just too tired to know.