This week flew by and alas, my new boss shit the bed. It was over something so incredibly small and he sided with someone who is so incredibly small that I can point out his mistake in every leadership book I own. So I am back to being guarded and suspicious of him, waiting for the next opportunity he takes and knowing that the incidents will grow from small to medium to large to epic because this is how it happens. I am back to looking, wishing, and hoping for a mentor within my organization. I need someone that I can have regular access to and is able to push me beyond my current position. It is difficult for me because I am already a Supervisor, doing the work of a Manager and at times the Director, so I feel like I would need someone who is above that - especially since I have already been a Director in my lifetime. I have heard rumors that the decision for the Director position has already been made, but I have not been asked to interview. I am hoping that I get to interview at the very least.
I am getting stir crazy in my house. My lungs feel better than they have, but that is not saying much given the state they were in. I want to run and I know I will have to start by walking and I do not want to. I still gasp for air when I climb the stairs to get to my car. I have been parking on the roof on purpose and feel like I need to as punishment for not getting to work out. That is great, but I am huffing and puffing because I am ill and not because I am out of shape, which of course I am. So, you see this internal struggle I am having and how the logic fades in and out mixing with emotion. I have given this enough time though, I am at least walking next week!
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It's a great start to park a little further away then necessary, but don't look at it as punishment, think of it as a reward, and something that will make that first running step a bit easier had you not parked further away in the first place. You will get there, but it won't be tomorrow. Take it from someone who is learning that very quickly herself.
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