Needs, Wants, and Grumpiness

I found myself to be over-tired, under-focused, and more than a bit grumpy today, though I think I did a good job keeping that to myself. There were tasks that had a deadline of today and I was in no mood to complete them. It did not help that I was dependant upon a report that did not show up until well after 1pm.

I was asked today if I was going to make a 36 before 37 list and my answer is probably not. My one area of focus this year is to get healthy – body, mind, and spirit. G and I had a lengthy conversation last night about how hard my life has been. I only went back to 18 when Mackenzie died, but he reminded me of the home I grew up in. That being said, my life has been a challenge since 1986. 22 years – no wonder I am tired.

I am trying to separate need from want right now when discussing my pursuit of ultimate happiness. I need to finish my degree, I want a promotion. I need to lose the weight I put on, I want to buy clothes in a bigger size. You get the idea…

I need to find a mentor and I have not yet found that person. There are many choices within the organization I work for, however, none of them do I have consistent access to on a regular basis. There are times in which I need some focus and direction and good solid professional advice, none of which I am getting right now – so I am feeling a bit lost. Or again, I could just be over tired!